You Know Not What You Want

Its interesting that in the O3 environment, the bosses can run the company by giving ultra vague and yet conflicting instructions.

For example, one day the mini boss asks consultants to design something different for a product. He said that other materials can be used than the usual. The designers spent 2 weeks coming up with nice designs. Today, the mini boss finally looked through the designs and said they were bad. Because we can't make them without using other materials. EH?

So, yes, no, yes, no. Square, round, oval. I suggested that he sit down with the designers so that they can find out directly from him what he is looking for. He caved. He decided to choose one of the prior designs instead of asking them to redo the whole lot for free. I bet he caved because he didn't even know exactly what he is looking for.

Imagine that. The O3 environment in all its glory, and the company survives and makes moolah for themselves.

The Rotten Apple

The next biggest boss once told a story to a group of engineers about how a rotton apple will make more apples in the same basket rotten as well. (I think the boss may have been referring to the saying that a little leaven, leavens the whole lump.) The boss then asked the engineers who this rotten apple is. It is likely that he was hoping the answer would be - the bloody rat.

Although none of them answered, one of the engineers told me that he was thinking that the answer should be that the apples aren't really rotten. Its the basket that's making the apples rotten.

Brilliant answer I say, pity the basket won't see it that way.

The Pacifier

No, this blog entry is not about the movie or a baby superhero like the powerpuff girls or something. This entry is about the big boss' collection of pacifiers.

Its not as if he is a collector. The big big boss just goes out and buys a few and stashes them somewhere in the drawer of his desk. He then dishes them out to employees whom he thinks are cry babies. He told me that once before and I know of at least 4 people who have gotten the pacifier from him.

What an insulting man. His MO is to scold and upset the target. The target then either fights back and gets more upset or starts tearing. Once that happens, the big big boss will mentally lable the individual a crybaby and offer the pacifier if its in stock. If its not in stock, he will get someone to buy more then offer the pacifier on another day.

Oh, usually when he gives the pacifier, he smiles. What a bully.

FIne $10 for Poor English?

This is a story of a foreigner whose grasp of english is poor and due to the need and want of staying in the country, he endures the abuse that the big boss lashes out on him. From forcing him to stay in another foreign country, to fining him practically DAILY, this poor soul is like an animal stuck in a cage with the key to freedom dangling just out of his reach.

What happened was that the big big boss searched through his emails and found that he emailed external consultants and companies. Upon reading his emails, the big big boss was appalled at his english and banned him from contacting external parties. He was fined $10. (again, no warning. Fine first then explain the reason) He had only $8 in his pocket so the boss took $4 and left $4 for food.

A collegue of his then came to his defence and said that he emailed only on his instruction. The big big boss then proceeded to fine the collegue $10 as well. Since the collegue did not bring his wallet at that moment, he was told by the boss to bring the $10 later.

So...the O3 environment's rules is to take money from the masses of workers by fining them whilst unawares of your great rules, then combining this and redistributing it later as 'bonuses'. How's that for a zero-sum game?

A peaceful day - Rare but True

Today was not like any other day. Today the skies were grey and the clouds were thick, but all was quiet on the praire.

Ok, enough of the satire. Even though the weather outside was gloomy, things were beautifully peaceful and calm in our office. The bloody rat went to the factory all day and the other big boss and many engineers were there as well.

How wonderful it was! Even better, the big big boss was still trying to be nice and decent to those of us who remained. Did not create much problem. He decided to pick his fights well and only bullied the truly bulliable ones.

Sad side point is that the fining aspect still has not stopped and I doubt it will stop anytime soon.

LJ's Half Day

I decided to take half day off today. Wow, it feels good! In fact, I couldn't stop smiling all morning knowing that I have just a few hours to temporary freedom and just a few days to permanent ones.

Anyway, the big big boss isn't happy with me that's for sure. He does not talk to me (again) and for good reason too. But he expressed disaapointment cordering on being upset at the fact that I voiced my reasons at him the day before. DUH. He kept asking so if I gave him the honest answers and he doesn't like it, its his fault. Not that he'd remember any of that.

So today's blog is here earlier than most days cos i'm at home. *yawn* Until tomorrow....

Talking to the Wall

Yesterday, I managed to reduce my long notice period from 2 months to about 3 weeks. Here's how I did it:

First, I miffed the big big boss by answering his question on "why are you leaving?". I decided to be candid when he incessently prodded me for a specific answer while I was trying to help him save face by giving generalised answers. My candid answers were of course not accepted by him (like how he fires staff, how decisions are made and remade and remade). And so it was as if I was talking to a wall. I had no effect.

The wall had all sorts of deflections for my "accusations". Apparantly he perceives that numerous companies out there do the same bag checking thing and escorting of staff when they are leaving. (erronous reasoning since he picks and chooses whom he deems potential criminals.) Then the wall basically turned a deaf ear to the decision making point and simply answered with a dumb question "what's wrong with the way I make decisions?" In the end, he brushed it all off with the comment that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

So I miffed him. Then I miffed him again by asking the smaller boss for permission to leave earlier instead of going straight to the big boss. Ha! In doing so, I irritated the big boss enough that he would not want to keep me longer. So when I asked him yesterday afternoon, he did not fight me.

FREEDOM..... HERE I COME!!!!

The Bloody Rat

Today's entry is on the Bloody Office Rat. BOR.

The BOR in the O3 environment unabashedly stabs EVERYONE in the back so as to up his status with the big big boss. Some background: BOR was a Director at one point in the prior year but ended up being dropped due to lack of something or other. BOR is now a Manager again. Senior of course.

When BOR started work this year, he put his new plan to regain the upper hand into action. BOR one day spotted two unknowing and quite new office staff chatting online through Jabber (PSI or Neos) with references to a certain dark lord in the star wars movie. Little did BOR know that it was in reference to himself...he assumed that they were talking about the big big boss. So he took the opportunity to rat on them. One got fired a few days later in the style of the previous blog entry.

Today, BOR has managed not only to practically scrap the Jabber in the office and make life inconvenient for others (yes, we do use it for WORK!), he has requested to read more logs of more staff. Even staff who are already resigning! Hmm...makes you wonder what makes a Bloody Office Rat tick.

On a better note, I have managed to reduce my notice time by a whoppin' 62.5%! Woohoo! I get to leave the O3 environment at the end of the month. *Applause* Thank you...Thank you...

LJ's Great Escape

I, LJ, will be documenting my great escape from the O3 environment. Ever since submitting my letter of resignation, the mini-boss has been hounding me to complete the planning for just about every aspect of the project save for actually selling the final product myself.

The big boss has gone out of his way to not talk to me about my resignation. He tries to assimilate information through multiple requests of information from my fellow-collegues. Of course his attempt to cover it up by telling them not to tell me is upsurd. They are my friends and hence his foe.

I am planning and hoping to leave asap. I doubt I will be able to retain my sanity and my morality and my dignity if I had to stay the entire duration. God would have to help me or intervene in this situation.

Until tomorrow....

You Are Wasting My Time

If an employee resigns, most companies would like to release that person with as little bad karma and negativity as possible.

In this O3 environment, the big boss almost NEVER lets people go without either:
1) Making them cry or,
2) Threaten not to pay them by using the "I'll donate your pay to charity instead." ploy (There is no record of these so-called donations) or,
3) Humiliate them before they leave by swearing at their face and forcing the foreigners to listen to him by holding on to their work permits until he has said his fill or,
4) Cursing their family and their qualifications or,
5) Stating that they wasted his time or,
6) Screaming about how ungrateful they are.

Those are all the points I can think of for the moment. He has made men and women cry too. He has threatened to fist fight people as well.

I strongly believe the O3 environment is on the way to its demise. I, LJ, has decided to leave this horrid place. Many thanks to all my friends for your support. The blog will continue on...stay tuned.

Begin by thinking of the End

The title of this post is exactly what sounds like some kind of motivational speech or management text. In the regular world, it would make sense and maybe be the title of the next bestseller. But once again, this is the O3 environment that we are talking about.

The O3 biggest boss had decided to spend money on this brain child of his. (note: he obviously does not remember the A Penny Saved is A Penny Earned story he tells us) He invested in many T-shirts emblazoned with the above catch phrase and distributed them. Presently he has distributed them only to the export department (the sole surviving department) and the workers.

Everytime someone walks by me with in that T-Shirt, I envision the end to be resigning from O3 and I bet that thought has permeated the minds of many, if not all, the staff. Its a meaningful T-shirt to have afterall.

Hey, I want one!

The Quiet Frontline

Things seem to be silent at the frontline. Temporarily for sure. The mini-O3 boss has intensions to travel non-stop and of course, that means more $$$ out the O3 environment. This is not withstanding the fact that he'll use his cell phone even more often. And usually calls direct, ignoring cost saving measures like the use of IDD or a calling card. So there goes next year's bonus I figure.

This is what I call the O3's silent front. A quiet day is kind of like an impending doom. Calm before the storm; silence before the blast; the deafening sound of nothing before the explosion.

We'll have to wait and see.

Too Little Too Late

TLTL. Too little too late.

It looks like the O3 environment is undergoing some kind of snake-like shedding of the skin. Seems this happens annually but its particularly thorough the last couple of months. Most years, the shedding is all year round and maybe you have a spike of 20% of shedding happen in a quarter. (in case you haven't understood what I man by shedding... its resignation / firing of staff).

Here are the statistics, the marketing department was annihilated last month, leaving one "new" guy left to run it. Poor fella joined us a few months ago. Export department was decimated as well leaving behind only the head and a couple of other staff to handle and teach all the new people. And then we have R&D. Engineers are resigning faster than the O3 bosses can replace them. Often, the replacements are scared off too. To date we have 10 staff resigning/ getting fired since December. That's almost 2 per week!

Yesterday, the O3 biggest boss probably suddenly understood that things are going to slow down drastically as morale dips once again. He did a TLTL action the whole day. It was uncanny behaviour. He smiled and tried to bring staff out for lunch (many politely turned him down) and even called staff into his room to nicely ask them whether they were resigning too. He gave staff he needed to stay strange things like free magazines. Its TLTL. Every one knows that you can't change the spots on a leopard. This leopard is so old and grumpy. You can't change his thinking and his emotions over night...or over weeks, or over months. It'd probably take another few years for true improvements to come to light...if ever.

TLTL in the O3 environment. Keep you posted on anymore strange occurances.

Awesome email

I got this wonderful email in my inbox today, nobody replied to it. Stupidity is immeasurable. Check it out:

Dear Folks,

Appreciate your kind information on your new email addresses.
I have updated the list.

You should get this email otherwise please let me know .....ok ?

Thank you !

Have a nice evening !

XXX

Right... if anybody cannot read this post please send me a comment so I can fix it.

On The Fly Decision-Making

Ok, the tv show 24 is very cool. Jack Bauer makes all these spur of the moment decisions. Several are unpopular, against the groove type decisions but the thing is that they are all the right decisions. By the last episode of the season, millions of lives are saved and the country is safe.

That type of decision making works for that type of job and environment. It most certainly would not work well in a project based engineering type environment. And yes, as you might have guessed, this is exactly what happens in the O3 environment.

Here's a recent example: Someone in the team located at HQ is resigning soon but as things would be here, the boss does not want to find a replacement for him. The boss thinks that the workers at the factory (located in a 3rd world foreign country that does not use english commonly) should be able to handle the task, since he saw them working for that moment in that one day. Now, the job of supervising the workers there becomes the problem of the team manager whom the boss requests that he go to the factory at least once a week to coach them.

In this scenario, the manager is thus taking over the job of technical designer and will inevitably waste a day every week there superising the workers at the factory. Chances are, only about 1 to 2 hours of meaningful work will be done there each time.

Savings? I suppose a couple thousand a month in not hiring a replacement. Expenditure, at least a thousand in salaried time spent of the manager going over plus transportation costs. I guess this makes monetary sense to the O3 bosses. Kudos to their greatness. Oh by the way, hiring a new tech designer means he can spend 20% of his time on this project and 80% of the rest of his time on other projects. Guess the 80% is worth less than a thousand bucks.

The Evil Creeping Effects of O3 in Life

Today is a good day to use as an example of how the O3 environment is affecting our personal lives, personalities and our very natures.

See, this morning a good friend bought breakfast for me and I happened to do the very same for him as well. We've always worked well together and you could say we are practically siblings (no we are NOT gay). The O3 affects us greatly by bullying the friends around us. It makes our blood boil that others are getting bullied for no good reason.

Today, it finally got to us. For no good reason we started quarrelling. It wasn't a pleasant sight to see good friends quarrelling. Fortunately there was no audience but we felt awful after a few minutes and apologised and are ok once again. But I agree with my good friend...its the environment that truly seems to be tainting our innocent blood. Maybe after a long time, fangs and claws would appear.

Nasty stuff. This place should be the study of a sociology thesis/project. Or perhaps simply incorporated into a vampire/werewolf movie script.

Loyalty is the Worst Policy

Most companies request for loyalty from their employees. That makes sense. High turnover rates should be the bane of companies where knowledge and information are important...and practically all engineering, technical related companies where R&D or product development are involved need to keep employees as long as possible to minimise loss of knowledge during transfer.

HR and commonsense tells you that long serving employees should be treated just as well or better than newer fresher employees right? Haha! In the O3 environment, only bad treatment is the same to everyone regardless of number of years of service.

Usually when staff resign here, you'll end up working harder and longer hours during your notice period. Most of the time, when the biggest boss is unable to find a replacement in time, he will ask you to stay longer out of the goodness of your heart. Leaving will remain uneventful, hopefully. On the other hand, should the biggest boss have a bad day (which is about 90% of the time) he will then ask you to leave immediately if you want to, and trust me under those unpleasant circumstances most just say yes. To futher exacerbate the resignee's embarrasement, he will call 2 of your fellow collegues to follow him to his cubicle to watch him pack up and ensure that he does not steal anything, then escort him out the building.

This latter scenario I have personally witnessed at least 5 times in the past year. So there you have it. It happens. And because of that, some of the long serving staff leave by going AWOL or simply destroy their work just before leaving out of spite. The O3 environment cultivates a den of wolves...either bite back or get bitten.

The Lord of the O3

I think almost everyone would have experienced this phenomenon a few times in their working lives. Here at O3 its almost a weekly event. This story is a classic example.

Project team has a meeting with external clients/consultants. Mini-Big Boss (MBB) states his interest to be present at the kickoff meeting. Meeting date was set for Friday but 2 weeks before the meet, MBB says Thursday will be good for him. So team informs clients/consultants of date change. All is good.

The night before the meeting at about 2130hrs, MBB calls the team leader to request for a change in the timing of the meeting. He wants it moved forward by half an hour. Reason unknown.

Team leader calls the clients/consultants the next morning to request the change in timing. They are polite and oblige. That day, MBB is no where in sight in the morning. At lunch time, just before the meeting, he calls team leader to say that he is at the doctors and wants to discuss and prep the team leader on what to speak to the clients/consultants about. MBB then proceeds to request for them to return the next week for a follow up meeting where he would like to sit in. Again.

Ok, so he was ill. That's a valid reason, but it's the blatant disregard of respect and even noticing other people going out of the way to accommodate oneself that bugs me. Furthermore, no apolgies for the trouble. The old fashioned way was that bosses never said sorry as its a sign of weakness. In the present day, its a sign of disrespect. And that is why I call them the Lord of the O3.

The Suckor, The Sucker and The Sucks-to-be-me

When they accept applications for their Masters for Business Administration, schools should have a section which asks potential students to select if they wish to belong to any of the 3 entities: Sucker, Suckor or Sucks-to-be-me. The Sucker is the guy that allows himself to be sucked up, the Suckor does the sucking up and the Sucks-to-be-me gets the short end of the stick. I believe these 3 different roles requires very different skill sets.

The Sucker needs to be able to stare at a mirror and see nothing but himself. The Suckor needs to be able to stand the sight of himself on the mirror. The Sucks-to-be-me needs a polished metal for a mirror so he won't smash his head in the mirror when he sees himself and land himself another 7 years of bad luck.

I had the opportunity once to have an objective view of this interaction at a meeting once. I was not involved and had a pure role as a scientific observer.

It was an annual meeting, the Sucker declared that this year was a great year for the department, the Suckor pounced to action with a "That's all thanks to your great leadership!". There was a visible cringing as the Sucks-to-be-mes synchronously flinched at the act, then recovered and thundered their applause.

Unlike LJ, I kinda like my job, maybe I reached job nirvana through years of study on Scott Adam's scripture: Joy of Work.

Stupid Coworkers: Analysis Paralysis

We heard it all before: a major decision to be made and nobody wants to be the one to make it. In humanity's ingenuity, we have (at least offered) a solution for every problem we have encountered. This problem invites our solution: the consultants.

I had this very interesting conversation with a lawyer once about this nifty "decision-making" software that does all the Monte Carlo simulation to tell you how much each decision is worth to you. My lawyer friend concluded that all these software does is to produce great looking graphics to justify decisions already made by management. My reply was a enthusiastic "Wow! That's great! At least they get to a decision right?"

Which brings me to the point. Sometimes we just analyse a problem to death, if we do this and then that, something MIGHT happen. But is that probability of loss worth the opportunity cost of...etc? This is the stuff meetings are made of.

A lawyer went through one of our powerpoint slides to 'sanitise' it for language before presenting to the CTO. It was hilarious, because all the slides need to be changed! There are too many possibilities to capture and in the end we have great slides which gives no definite information but a vague gesticulation of a possibility of this moderately promising project. I watched the PhD researcher droop like dried flower as the lawyer continues to destroy his hard work, its sad but very entertaining.

Rewarding the Wrong Things

In Japan there are policies being considered to force employees and companies in making leave plans so that staff have to take time off. As the name of this blog suggests, Japanese are killing themselves due to being overworked.

In the O3 environment, there is a method of rewarding and punishing that essentially moves the workplace into one that encourages negative thoughts... As a recent comic strip depicted, a worker had an annual appraisal coming up and was excited at the prospect of a good to great report since he worked late many nights and took less than half his alloted leave days. During the meeting, the boss frowns at the worker and says," Your performance is miserable! You were late twice for five minutes this year!".

How's that for appreciation eh? In my company's O3 environment that is almost what happens, except (if you read my previous blogs) they punish lateness with fines on the spot and ignore any other forms of staying late nights.

Go O3!!!